If you ask people, are you happy in your life? Most people will have the same answer, ‘No, I am not happy in life’. Are you also one among them not happy in life? If yes, read this article and watch the video. You will surely find the reasons for your unhappiness and you can easily change your life into happiness.
This Is Why You’re NOT HAPPY In Life | Jay Shetty
I found this video of Jay Shetty explaining the reasons for unhappiness in life. You will find the answer to the question of why you are not happy in life. Jay Shetty is on a mission to share the timeless wisdom of the world in an accessible, relevant and practical way.
Selected scripts – Why you are Not Happy
The two extremes of ego for ‘Not Happy’
The two extremes that most of us experience are either “I have to think I’m the best, I’m the best in the world, I can crush anyone like I’m like gonna show everyone what I’m like”.
Or most of us experience the other extreme which is I’m the worst, I’m the stupidest, I’m the dumbest, I’m the most worthless, I’m the biggest loser. Notice how that’s both egos really yes.
Why so negative? So the ego wants to be the best of the best or the ego wants to be the worst of the worst. The ego won’t accept being in the middle. Really the ego wants to feel the deepest sense of being the lowest. And that’s why victim mentality is actually a subsequence of ego.
These two sides of ego keeping us locked away and so the only way to get with that and the only way to balance it and bring it all into one is genuine self-honesty. Honesty is the best place to be. The best thing about honesty is I’m really good at this, I’m really average of that and I’m really bad at that. And the challenge we have with that is most of us have no idea. We just have zero self-awareness about what we are good at, what we are bad at, what we’re average at. So we think I’m pretty average at everything, I’m pretty good at everything.
Real confidence comes from knowing your strengths
Just go and talk to people that know you. What am I great at, awesome, what’s my superpower, what do I do differently, what do you think I do. That is different than no one else does and guess what. I guarantee you if you ask a colleague, if you ask a friend, if you ask a family member, if you ask people they’ll say different things but you get to learn about yourself. So real confidence comes from knowing your strengths and going all-in on them.
Your confidence does not come from just standing up the right way or just saying the right stuff to yourself. That’s important. I am a big believer in all of that but what I am saying is that doesn’t build real confidence.
Real confidence comes from thinking I am really good at this, I know I can do this and I love doing it. Really this is the most important bit confidence comes from serving other people. When you see the impact you have on others and this is the biggest issue.
Why we have such low self-esteem today in the world?
The reason why we have such low self-esteem today in the world is because people are not serving others. So they don’t see the profound impact they have on others. When you put out a video or a podcast and people tag you on Instagram and they say Louis you stop me from depression or you help me out of a divorce or people when they watch my content they’ll be like that stopped me from committing suicide or whatever it’s.
When you see that you get such a deep sense of self-worth that you matter and guess what everyone matters. Whether you matter to one people or one million people everyone matters but if you see your impact on someone’s life you will feel such a deep sense of self-worth. And so whether you’re serving at giving out free food or whether you’re serving at a local charity place or whether you’re serving through your work serve, serve, serve. Because when you take that step you get a boost of self-esteem.
Why do so many of us live in fear and desire mode as opposed to duty and love mode?
It’s conditioned. I’ve said before that we’re wired for generosity but we’re educated for greed. What happens is when we’re kids, you’ll see kids you want to share go out their way they want to share part of my candy bar whatever.
And then as we get older we’re told that there’s less and this is what. The key is as we get older we’re told there are finite numbers of how many kids get made on the basketball or baseball team. We’re told there’s a finite number of college spaces. We’re told there’s a finite number of how many tickets there are. We’re told there’s a finite number of people that are successful.
Guess what in the theatre of happiness, there are infinite and unlimited seats and there is a seat with your name on it. There is a seat with your name on it in the theatre of dreams, in the theatre of happiness. But you think that because you think that there are only a hundred people allowed in that. If someone else makes it before you that you don’t get in. And guess what is there a cap on how many billionaires there are in the world? No. No, Is there a cap on how many millionaires around the world? No. Is there a cap on how many happy people there are in the world? No.
You don’t need to have a lot of money to make a big impact
We should start showing how much time people give, how much energy people give. Mother Teresa, I don’t think she gave any money to her charities. You get a lot of time and energy. You look at all the people who made a change in the world. Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi like they may not have given a lot of money to stuff, they gave time and energy.
You don’t have to give resources but your resourcefulness, your love, your focus, your attention, your compassion, love. The resourcefulness of the heart not of the wallet. I think it’s love and you don’t need to have a lot of money to make a big impact.
We have been educated for greed
We’ve been educated for greed because we’ve been told everything’s limited. There’s a limited number of this, a limited number of these. Every time you play in numbers. Every time you play numbers you’ll always be dissatisfied because guess what someone’s going to always have more.
I was speaking to a friend recently he was telling me that you know bought a home which is very expensive very very expensive. And he went to a party at someone else’s house and he told me that when he was getting a tour of this party he found out that this person had a painting on his wall which cost the amount his house. And so he was joking he was like that guy’s painting in the house ‘he’s got my house on his wall.’
That just puts things into perspective and you think about that like and then you look at something. Jeff Bezos is the richest man in the world but does he have the most fame? No, He doesn’t. Does he have the most beauty subjective decision? Does he have the most strength or power? Maybe not. No one has the most of everything. So when you measure yourself by numbers you’ll always be second third fourth fifth in something.
I think by measuring yourself be needing to have the most of anything is probably a recipe for unhappiness. I’m like well, okay I’m not gonna have the most of anything but I’m gonna have the most money. You’re still gonna be unhappy even if you have the most of something doesn’t mean you’re gonna be happy totally.
I think it was Albert Einstein who said it best that “Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted“. I love that because it removes this belief that things are finite and limited and then not.
What’s the difference between the monkey mind and the monk mind?
The monkey mind is what we experience on a day-to-day basis. The monkey mind is restless, the monkey mind is jumping from branch to branch. The monkey mind’s trying to find a bigger banana, the monkey mind is constantly just feeling flustered, dissatisfied, scarce and overthinking everything. The monk mind is the exact opposite. The monk mind is calm and composed. The monk my knows to be focused and aware among my nose.
How does someone living in a sense of scarcity find purpose in chaos?
There are people living in scarcity where they’re unable to pay their bills, they’re unable to provide food for their kids, they’re single moms, they’re stressed they’re overwhelmed. It’s hard to get into a sense of abundance. When you’re in scarcity and stress how does someone find purpose in chaos when they can’t even get out of the thinking because they’re just trying to survive
Beautiful question. My biggest answer is first of all I empathize with anyone who’s been in that situation having. I can’t ever say I’ve been in that situation in the same way. But I’ve experienced similar things. I’ve seen my mom go through stuff like that I know that my mom worked really hard to raise me and my sister. While working you know while running around and I’ve seen my mom be that incredible powerhouse of a person.
Find meaning in what you do
And the main thing I would say is what you can do right now is find meaning in what you do, make what you do meaningful passionate and purposeful. You don’t need to suddenly look to become an entrepreneur or start a side hustle or find some more time. Find meaning and the way you find meaning as you genuinely stop press, pause for a second and go. What am I living for? What am I living for right now?
If you’re living for your child and if you’re living to provide and put food on the table that is a beautiful thing that we should celebrate more. Sometimes it takes us a moment to stop and celebrate that. I would say find meaning because you can’t always find happiness, you can’t always find positivity, but you can always find meaning in that position. If you’re in a really tough situation right now don’t look for positivity, don’t look for happiness, look for meaning.
Create a commitment to how you want to use that meaning
That’s a good one, not trying to and not trying to get yourself out of pain too quickly or discomfort or frustration. I’ve been guilt of being like I’ll just be positive or whatever to people. Live your experience and find meaning as quickly as possible and create a commitment to how you want to use that meaning moving forward. I may not be great tomorrow, maybe not with next week, next month, but I’m going to use this meaning to serve other people, to continue to do what I love, continue to be great to my friends, my family in the best way possible.
Start doing small things with love and kindness
When you start doing those small things with love and kindness so much more opens up. It’s like when you can be trusted with the small things and the small moments you get trusted with more and more and more. It helps to just at that moment and it’s in those painful moments that you realise how powerful you are. We all know that like you really recognise it and what you said was beautiful about not rushing through the pain. If you have a wound and you’ve cut yourself it’s like you can’t rush the healing. You can’t rush it if you broke your arm. I mean and you’ve been through so many bodily injuries you can’t rush the process.
From the above, you must have realised you are responsible for not happy in your life. Most times, the ego is the reason for not being happy. Many people do not know helping others will brighten their life. You don’t need money to help, but you can help by sharing your time, energy, knowledge and other such things. When you help a person not happy because of some problems, you are making him happy and at the same time, your mind also feels happy. His blessings will make your life successful with full of happiness.
In this article, what are the points that touched your heart which you found as a reason for not happy in life?
What do you think as the major factors for not happy in life?
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Reference: YouTube – Jay Shetty
Mathukutty P. V. is the founder of Simply Life Tips. He is a Blogger, Content Writer, Influencer, and YouTuber. He is passionate about learning new skills. He is the Director of PokketCFO.
He lives with the notion of “SIMPLE LIVING, CREATIVE THINKING”. He Believes – “Sharing is caring.” and “Learning never ends.”