The Secrets About Forgiveness And Self-Forgiveness

The Secrets About Forgiveness And Self-Forgiveness

(Last Updated On: June 4, 2019)

Do you know the secrets about forgiveness and self-forgiveness? How do you react when you realise that you have done something wrong or hurt a person? Some people do not say sorry because they do not know the value of this simple word. For some people saying sorry is a matter of ego because their status does not allow them to ask sorry to others.

After reading the post and watching the video talk, you will realise the reason for your unhappiness, stress and other such problems. You will take a decision to make changes in your life through forgiveness and self-forgiveness.

The Secrets About Forgiveness

I am sure you might have said ‘sorry’ many times in life. That’s Ok.

But how many times you have forgiven someone who has hurt you, but didn’t say sorry? Nice question, isn’t it?

Even after saying sorry, it is difficult to forgive, so how can forgive without saying sorry? That will put down your status down. This is a common problem for many people.

We all know Forgiveness is an 11 letter word, but according to Elizabeth Marx the famous writer Forgiveness is a 4 letter word: Love

… forgiveness is a four letter word: Love.

Elizabeth Marx, Binding Arbitration

Award Winning Speech – Secrets About Forgiveness

Ashwini John | Youth ICON Awardee 2017

This is a power packed and inspirational talk by Ashwini John from Vivekanandha College of Engineering For Women, Kerala, India who won the Youth Icon of the year 2017 of Youth Talk contest.

Her speech on Secrets About Forgiveness made the youth think positive and enthusiastic. Don’t miss to watch this video. This young girl explaining the importance of forgiveness in a pleasant, simple and powerful voice.

It is difficult to forgive when you realise the mental pain but forgiving others is essential for your well being and peace of mind. Click To Tweet

Why some people cannot forgive?

Some people are not mentally strong and they cannot forget and forgive. Hence the past incident haunts them throughout their lives. You must be smart enough not to let the same events cross your path again.

The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest and the first to forget is the happiest.


How many times do you need to forgive a person?

Many people have this question in their mind. Peter, the disciple of Jesus had asked this question to Jesus. The Bible has many powerful quotes of Secrets About Forgiveness.

Be ready to forgive over and over again

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Bible – Matthew 18: 21-22 

Priority when it comes to forgiving others

There is another bible verse explaining the importance of forgiveness.

Forgiveness Bible Verses
Importance Of Forgiveness Bible Verses Matthew 5:23-24 Altar Bhagalpur Hosanna

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Bible – Matthew 5:23-24

What is the message in this Bible verse? Before you pray, meet the person and reconcile, forgive him, remove anger from your mind.

Meeting God with a mind filled with anger and revenge has no value because God will not listen to your prayers. Before prayer, forgive everyone hurt you, ask pardon for your mistakes to others, have a clean heart and a peaceful mind.

Before prayer, forgive everyone hurt you, ask pardon for your mistakes to others, have a clean heart and a peaceful mind. Click To Tweet

When disciples asked Jesus to teach them How to pray, Jesus taught them a prayer

Lord's Prayer Our Father In Heaven
Prayer Our Father In Heaven

Further Bible verses explaining the most important factor.

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6 (Bible)

People who do not believe in God may ignore this, but for others read and think about this before you ask God to forgive your mistakes or blessings.

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” Paul Boese Click To Tweet

Song – Secrets About Forgiveness – TobyMac

This is a heart touching and meaningful song about forgiveness. Close your eyes and open your ears and mind to listen this beautiful song.

To forgive but not to forget is like saying you will make an omelette without breaking eggs Click To Tweet


We hear a lot from parents, spiritual leaders and great persons about the importance of forgiving those who have harmed us. Is that enough? What about forgiving ourselves? Is that important as well?

Self-forgiveness is equally important to forgiveness to others. Bad events can happen many times in life. There is no point beating yourself up for every time. The best thing is to learn from life lessons and move forward to success.

Self-forgiveness is hard because you cannot look at yourself in a detached manner to understand your problems and find solutions to move along. You may require help from others as does forgiving others.

The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself. 


Healing Your Shame and Guilt Through Self-Forgiveness

  • The Obstacles to Self-Forgiveness
  • How to Forgive Yourself for the Harm You Caused Others
  • Four Avenues Toward Self-Forgiveness
  • Self-Understanding Can Lead to Self-Forgiveness
  • Common Humanity and Gaining Compassion for Yourself
  • Exercise: Your Sins and Omissions
  • Earning Your Forgiveness
  • Apologizing
  • How to Give A Meaningful Apology
  • Ask Your Creator or Higher Power for Forgiveness

Google search showed me a beautiful post about self-forgiveness written by Beverly Engel. She has been a psychotherapist for over 30 years and is the author of 20 books, including The Emotionally Abusive Relationship and The Right to Innocence. I have listed the points of the article for your reference to understand the depth of the article. You can read the full article Healing Your Shame and Guilt Through Self-Forgiveness

Whom to forgive?

Is it a big question? No. You have to ask sorry and also forgive everyone, family members, relatives, neighbours, classmates, colleagues in the office, any stranger you meet while travelling.

Parents should forgive children and children should forgive parents. These two things happen without fail, but in some families sometimes forgiveness do not happen and that cause many problems.

Couple Hugging - The Secret About Forgiveness
Couple Hugging Vector Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Husband and wife should forgive each other. Today one of the main reason for unhappy married life and divorce is not forgiving each other.

There is no limit for forgiveness and it should be irrespective of status, wealth, age and look. There should be no barriers to forgiveness.

Why to forgive and What is the benefit?

Once you ask sorry and forgive, your mind becomes free from tension, stress and anger. Peace and love fill in your mind and that energy passes through your body. Your love and care help the other person to think positively and become a better person because Forgiveness Leads To Light, Love And A Joyful Life.

Anger and resentment keep you stuck in the past incident replaying disempowering emotions and never allow living in the present moment. If you don’t ask sorry or forgive and keep the anger in your mind that will affect your physical and mental health and also may lead to major problems which you never imagined. 

‘We forgive you’: How a Kerala nun’s family embraced her murderer

You might have heard about this inspirational story of forgiveness. If not, read the full story to know what is real forgiveness. Some peple may find it difficult to believe this, but it is true and really happened in Kerala, India.

Samandar Singh bends to recieve forgiveness From Sr. Rani Mari's Family
Samandar Singh bends to recieve forgiveness from Sister Rani Maria’s mother and father at the latter’s home in Pulluvazhy, Kerala, in 2007. Also in the picture, Father Sadanand (with white beard) who helped the reconciliation to take place. ( Photo courtesy/Sister Selmy Paul ) (HT)

In 1995, Sister Rani Maria was murdered near Indore. Ahead of her beatification this November, HT recounts the moving story of how her family forgave the killer and accepted him as their own. Read the full story of forgiveness

Each time you experience fear or anger, choose forgiveness over hatred. Click To Tweet


After facing any hurtful incident do not hold on to anger and resentment, but forgive yourself and others. Each time you experience fear or anger, choose forgiveness over hatred. This will help you heal yourself, raise your awareness and lead to inner freedom, peace and happiness.

You must have realised that forgetting is a better option than being resentful. Do you think it is difficult to forgive others? However, you have the choice – either to rot in the past or forgive and forget and move on.

Let us start today, make changes in life and realise ‘forgiveness is a four letter word: Love.’

What is your experience with forgiveness?

What do you think of self forgiveness?

Any advice for those who need to forgive?

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