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Angry Parenting

Why Angry Parenting Harms More Than Helps: The Silent Impact

Updated on May 8, 2024 by Mathukutty P. V.

Are you aware of the silent impact of angry parenting? In the challenging journey of parenthood, it’s not uncommon for frustration to build up and find an outlet through loud reprimands and tantrums. However, it’s crucial to recognize the potential negative consequences of parenting with anger. While discipline is essential, relying on anger as a tool may not be the most effective approach. Let’s explore what angry parenting is, delve into the silent impacts it can have, and discuss ways to overcome it.

What Is Angry Parenting?

Angry parenting refers to a style of parenting characterized by the expression of frustration, annoyance, or rage towards children. It involves using loud reprimands, yelling, or harsh punishments as a means of discipline. This approach often stems from the parent’s unresolved stress, frustration, or lack of effective coping mechanisms. Angry parenting can have detrimental effects on children’s emotional well-being, leading to issues such as behavioural disorders, anxiety, and a negative impact on their perception of home as a safe space. Recognizing and addressing the underlying causes of angry parenting is crucial for fostering a healthier parent-child relationship and creating a more positive family environment.

How To Stop Yelling At Kids: The Power Of Gentle Parenting

Why Do Parents Get Angry So Easily?

Angry Parents

Understanding why parents may easily get angry can be complex and multifaceted. It often stems from a combination of personal stressors, societal expectations, and parenting challenges. Factors such as financial pressure, work stress, or unresolved personal issues can contribute. Additionally, parents might lack effective coping mechanisms or communication skills, resorting to anger as a default response. Cultural influences and generational patterns may also play a role. It’s crucial to recognize that parental anger is a human response influenced by various factors, and addressing its root causes can lead to healthier family dynamics and communication.

The Silent Impact Of Angry Parenting

Impact Of Angry Parenting
Impact Of Angry Parenting

1. The Vicious Cycle Of Loud Parenting

A commonly observed phenomenon occurs when parents who habitually speak loudly to their children find themselves becoming even more vociferous with each stage of their child’s development. It is not uncommon for parents to ask their children if they are deaf, at least once. This tendency can be attributed to the fact that children, accustomed to loud communication from a young age, only respond when spoken to in an even louder manner as they grow older. Now, consider the implications of getting angry and scolding. Expressing anger loudly often leads to unclear ideas and uncontrollable words. The message may be lost, and even the children may struggle to comprehend what is being said, as the words become disordered and chaotic.

Parents who consistently speak loudly to their children may escalate the volume at each stage of their child’s development. This pattern can lead to a breakdown in communication, as children raised in this environment may only respond to louder tones as they grow older. It’s essential to reflect on the impact this has on the child’s ability to understand and communicate effectively.

How Tone Of Voice Affects Children?

2. The Unintended Consequences

Growing up with parents who are often angry and yelling, how can children learn to speak with gentleness and calmness? It’s important to reiterate what was mentioned at the beginning: believing that you can fix your children by getting angry and shouting is a misconception. Moreover, this approach poses a risk to the mental health of the children in the future.

Angry father

The message can become distorted when parents express anger through loud and unclear communication. Children may struggle to comprehend the words being spoken, leading to confusion and potential long-term consequences. Moreover, children tend to imitate their guardians, making it challenging to develop gentleness and calmness if surrounded by angry outbursts.

3. The Risks To Mental Health

Continuous exposure to an angry parenting environment can result in a range of adverse effects on children, including behavioural disorders, anxiety, stress, emotional problems, withdrawal tendencies, depression, and academic laziness. The cumulative impact diminishes their confidence and hampers their ability to lead a fulfilling social life. Research indicates that even young children can discern the angry tone in their parents’ speech, and parental stress is often transmitted to them during moments of anger. Studies further demonstrate a negative effect on children’s brains, as the words and punishments delivered in anger contribute to a perception that home is not a haven, leaving them with a sense of unease and insecurity.

Sad Child - Angry parenting

Angry parenting has been linked to various mental health issues in children. From behavioural disorders and anxiety to stress and emotional problems, the repercussions can be significant. Studies suggest that even young children can sense the angry tone of their parents, absorbing the stress and negativity. This negative environment may impact their brain development and perception of home as a safe place.

4. Transmission Of Stress

Parents inadvertently transmit their stress to their children when expressing anger. The negative effects on a child’s brain, coupled with the perception of home as an unsafe place, can contribute to behavioural issues. Children growing up in such an environment may struggle with confidence, hindering their ability to lead a well-adjusted social life.

5. Breaking The Cycle

Parents need to recognize that getting angry and shouting is not a solution to parenting challenges. Instead, it puts the mental health of children at risk and jeopardizes their overall well-being. Children should not be victims of their parents’ anger, blame, or punishment. Parents must view their children as treasures and understand that they must protect and nurture them.

How To Help An Angry Child To Identify And Manage Emotions

How Do You Overcome Angry Parenting?

Overcoming an angry parent involves a combination of empathy, communication, and establishing boundaries. It’s essential to remain calm and composed, even in the face of parental anger.

Try to understand the root cause of their frustration, and respectfully express your feelings. Effective communication involves active listening and expressing your own needs and concerns.

Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship; assertively communicate what behaviour is acceptable and unacceptable.

Importance Of Healthy Parent-Child Relationship

Seeking support from a trusted adult, counsellor, or mediator can also guide you in navigating challenging situations with angry parents.

Ultimately, fostering open communication and demonstrating resilience can contribute to building a more understanding and positive parent-child relationship. Managing anger: ideas for parents

Avoid Unwarranted Harsh Words And Manners

In life, children often endure unwarranted harsh words and manners, and unfortunately, they may later respond in kind to their parents. Children should not bear the brunt of their parents’ anger, unjust blame, or harsh punishments; they are treasures and the greatest wealth parents possess. It becomes the duty and responsibility of parents to safeguard these treasures and utilize this wealth wisely. Thus, it is crucial to control anger and communicate with children in the gentlest manner possible. While witnessing the challenging behaviours of today’s youth can be overwhelming, resorting to spanking or silencing methods is not a healthy approach to parenting. An important realization for angry parents is that not only are they upset, but their children may also be harbouring their anger. Attempting to suppress their children’s anger with more anger is counterproductive and detrimental to fostering a harmonious parent-child relationship.

It is normal to feel angry, but uncontrolled parental anger can have serious negative effects on children, including poor mental, emotional, and physical health. Medical News Today


In the intricate dance of parenting, controlling anger and communicating gently with children is paramount. While the challenges of modern parenting may be overwhelming, resorting to anger is not a healthy solution. Parents must break the cycle of anger, creating a nurturing environment that fosters positive communication and emotional well-being for their children. Remember, the greatest wealth parents possess is their children, and it is their responsibility to use that wealth wisely.

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References: Medical News Today

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